A Father Says Show Love To Your Children, Always

Fathers are encouraged to use the love for their children as motivation to remain supportive despite the challenges of life, by Lance Corporal in the Jamaica Defence Force (JDF) Kevin Silvera.

“This makes you a good father…the love of your offspring. It doesn’t matter what you have to offer because you can be mentally challenged and still love your child. You just need genuine love and that will help you hunt the opportunities for your child,” he said.

The 30-year-old father of a two-year-old told JIS News that experiencing love as a father for his child, has been his greatest encounter.

“I never knew I could love someone unconditionally. The mere fact that he’s probably sleeping, I stand up staring at him, and think, ‘ I can’t believe he is my genes,’ because my son is my twin,” he shares.

“My son opened my eyes to how unselfish I can be…I never knew I had that in me,” he continued.

Against this backdrop, the St. Thomas-born soldier added that protecting his son is an important duty as a father. He said although risky, serving in the army is a necessary aid to help protect innocent citizens like his son.

“When you sign up to serve the country, you sign up with death in mind because you’re the first line of protection for your country, but I live by my mantra. It says it is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees,” he disclosed.

“You can’t leave the country to the mercy of criminals,” he continued, adding that since serving in the army from 2015, he has noticed a lack of empathy in youngsters from all social classes.

“When you interact with the younger generation you realise that there’s a lot of anger in men. Men don’t normally show each other love in this country and it comes from a lack of fathers and a lack of males showing empathy and love towards their sons or family members,” he said.

Due to this, he shares that his experience as a soldier has given him a unique perspective on matters of youth violence in Jamaica.

“From a civilian point of view, you would blame the government but [in my position], you realise that most of the problems in the nation are caused by us, the citizens. [It’s] from the lack of trust in the justice system to us being unruly overall,” he tells JIS News.

On this note, he said parents should own up to their responsibilities and show empathy and love to their children, no matter their age.

“I always tell my parents no matter how old I get; they are always responsible for me because I never asked to be born. So, love your child and be there for him. A lot of times it may be hard, but always consider that the child didn’t ask to be here, and how would you feel if you were in your child’s position,” he advised.

Meanwhile, in laughter, Lance Corporal Silvera recalled a moment spent in the hospital with his son when he did not realise the nurses were calling the name of his son to see the doctor.

“Then it dawned on me that it’s my son’s name. [At that time] it didn’t fully sink in that I actually had a son,” he said.

Despite this moment of forgetfulness, he said proper planning was in place before his birth. “My child was planned for, and it was the right time. I had my finances intact; I had a plan, so he wasn’t unexpected. I knew I was ready, so when it happened, I was elated,” he shared.

Part of his preparation included setting specific goals for himself throughout his youth and after achieving them, “I felt like I enjoyed my young-adult life as much.”

According to the first-time father, acquiring assets wasn’t the only indication of his readiness. “You cannot know when you’re fully ready, you just have to be aware that having a child takes sacrifice, and you need to be selfless. Every decision you make not only affects you, but it also affects that little human,” he tells JIS News.

With this in mind, he has a strong desire to give his son a life he never lived.

“I don’t want to spoil him rotten, but I want him to enjoy life to the maximum. To not worry about the next meal, going to university, or anything he wishes to achieve. I want to have a bond with him and for him to say, ‘my dad made it possible,’” he said.

He added that this will not be without passing on values such as selflessness, love for family, confidence, religious beliefs, and the right to express himself as a man.

“Even though he’s only two years old, I encourage my son to express himself. When he cries uncontrollably…he sees my authority, I can just look at him and he stops; but I don’t punish him. I would ask, ‘what do you want?’ and he’d tell me,” he disclosed.

Lance Corporal Silvera intends on planning for more children and to do so while extending the same affection he has for his first-born. His plans include teaching his children how to properly uphold moral behaviours and attitudes.